I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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