If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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