your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
