They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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