I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
