oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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