I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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