Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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