At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
