I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
