If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
