That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
