what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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