I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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