lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
