Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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