thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
