Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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