never play flip cup with pint glasses
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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