Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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