Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
