Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
