Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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