my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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