took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
