I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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