ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
