Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
