all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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