So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize