mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Your cock deserves a montage
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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