Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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