i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
