I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
