Heybabeimwearingurpanties
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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