I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
