a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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