Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
