if i died would you start the facebook group?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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