This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
