I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
