Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
