you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Shame - the story of my life.
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