Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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