I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
