I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
