Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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