I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
