Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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