Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
