i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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