ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
