3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm at about main and main street
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize