At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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