I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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