I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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