so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
