dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
