I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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