Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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