Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
