Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
