so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
