My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
