Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
