oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
