Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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