His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
