We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
